So, I am fully aware that I am not the most tolerant of people, but when I get annoyed I tend to rant about it for about 3 minutes then it’s gone and I can get on with my life. My flat mates have told me how entertaining these rants as I have the ability to find faults in the simplest of things, the most recent being that when I was in Italy over Easter, I found that they only have one meat on a pizza at a time…no meat feast…just the one. THAT IS NOT OK. I CANT CHOSE BETWEEN MEATS. I WANT ALL THE MEATS. But anyway, in response to their enjoyment of my rants I decided to start sharing them with you guys, I know it’s straying quite far from fashion but you know..complain and I’ll rant about you next. I’m starting with a big one…the mother of all annoyances…other people.
1) People Who Don’t Understand Sarcasm
I am the kind of person that is sarcastic to the point that when I give compliments people have to ask if I’m being serious. I can’t say the word ‘great’ and still sound serious…ever. But I love it. People say it’s the lowest form of wit but I don’t care, it’s incredibly entertaining for me, which is why I just can’t comprehend those people out there who don’t get it. Those people who just look at me like I’ve just insulted them so deeply and am now smiling about it, come on, seriously? How low is your opinion of me?! At that point I realise that I really have no way of every communicating with them again. All hope is lost. That is the end of a friendship.
The worst is when I meet someone new, a time most people would try and be cautious but no, not me, I can’t turn it off. Their inability to understand sarcasm makes me look like the bad guy. Come on, learn. Your life will be greatly improved because of it.
2) People Who Are Too Happy ALL THE TIME
No. I don’t believe you when you tell me you’re actually this happy all the time. It isn’t possible. It’s 9am, nothing good has happened to you yet today and more importantly I should still be in bed so leave me the fuck alone! I deal with some smiling, that’s fine, until someone asks me why I’m upset just cos I’m not constantly grinning like the Cheshire Cat. I’m not upset, this is just my face, sorry I’m not the sunshine that lights the world, at least I’m not annoying everyone in this stupidly early lecture who have had about 10 hours sleep combined. What is wrong with you.
The worst is the insistence on talking about how constantly happy they are. As you may be able to tell, I’m drawing most of my annoyance from one specific example, and this nameless example can talk for Britain. I don’t care about how great it was seeing pictures of your brother’s orchestra show and I definitely don’t care about how those pictures have turned into you telling me every single aspect of his life, all with a massive smile on your face that I just want to punch off. You’re treading on dangerous ground here, everyone who acts like this, one day I will snap, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourselves.
There will definitely be more to come but it felt wrong putting even more hate into one post. Feel my pain? Or find different groups excruciatingly annoying? Comment below.
Katie (I’m nice really…honest) x